19 July 2013

Self Ish

I look around and see ...I see so many simple things surrounding us. Day in and day out. Nights...over and over again and again. But why? I wonder, why? ...Then why are we still running all day long,  maybe a lifetime, on and on and maybe not being so lucky to get that one thing that you are running after,  all along the way. 

I love to just stay on a bench and observe people that walk by. It is hilarious how we "become" somebody else during the day and at night when we are just with the silence of the night and we can get our mask off.  And we feel empty and alone ....
 It happened to me to see  and  meet so many people, that were having this, as lots of us like to say "a great life". A great car, the newest phone on the market, a great house and an even greater bank account. Traveling around the world and have everything that you want. Or people that, as we like to call them, "great, cool". Those kind of people that can do anything what so ever not even thinking of what might happen to the one next to them. they just "walk" their way. 

So what happens when you are off without your "mask" and you realize or you see that what you have, what you are is not what the world sees. Hmm because you are to afraid to be seen without your "mask". Because it is easier to crush everything that you touch just to have more, just to be more, bigger in peoples eyes when you go upon that stage and you have your speech. 

Why is that making you even feel great? How can you even sleep or to live with that? I am wondering because I am just to naive to crush somebody's "wings". Why? Why are we selfish? Why can we just be ourselves? Why can we be as we want to be? As we truly are? 

I am wondering about this for years now and maybe I will understand it one day but I am not there. At least not yet. One of my friends said once that there is no such thing as people who think first of others and then of themselves. And my straight answer was "I am".  And she continued to say that well, yes, but at one point we still think of ourselves. And again my answer was "I am". Maybe it sounds stupid and you say " Yeah right, sure, you are the exception". I am not trying to say that. This is not my point here. I'm just saying that I would love to meet more people that are like this, who thinks first of the one that is right there sitting next to him/her on a bus, or just staying in a queue. Not just be like a predator fighting for survival. Because we are not animals. We are humans.And if we can't be like one, that I guess we should get a seat in the first row in some of the jungles that are near by. 

There was  a time when I was just myself and nothing else. More or less. And if I look back at my life I am honestly proud that by night when I get in my bed I don't have to get my mask off because I am the way I am and it is simple as that. If I will want to wear one day a mask it will be most probably in Venice :)

If you want to be loved stop massing up others cause you are lost. Have patience. You will find eventually your way. Fucking up other's lives is not gonna make yours better. Remember, what goes around comes around and karma is a bitch so stop acting ( if you are so into it then go be an actress/ actor will have more benefits that way). 

We all want the same things in life. We all want to be happy, be loved, find the one, find our way, live the story of our lives but how could we? When deep inside we are selfish, even with our sister, parents and so on... This world need people with a great heart and soul to make the world shine, to be better. 

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